So why do people keep saying it?  I mean it is obviously a
joke, right?

What are some of the warning signs of someone being in a cult?

1) They suddenly become happy, for no good reason.

In an actual cult the new recruit is being built up.  Either
he is simtten by his female inductor, enthraled by actually having
friends or something else.

When people “join” the Forge they are happy.  Happy to find
games that please them in ways they have never felt before.
It is important to note the big differance.  Forge equals new
experience and that experience is fun.  And thats
all.  In a cult the expeerience is basically a dupe.
And that leads to the next point…

2) The cultist cannot articulate why they are happy.

Cult members are being sold magic beans.  They can’t say they
are happy because it is a con.

New Forge members also cannot articulate why because it is
hard.  Someone suddenly says “why do you like italian
food?”  And you say “uh, I don’t know.
Cheese?”  Unless you have really considered and debated and
talked about a topic, you don’t really know how to articulate it.

3) They have a bunch of new standoffish friends.

Ok in a cult obviously these friends are cult members and they are
standoffish because they only hang with cult members.

Forge pepole are friendly and they like to form a community, start new
gaming groups and so on. They are standoffish in the sense that they
want to play Forge games

4) They have a bunch of new lingo.

Years ago I took a course for youths aimed at keeping people out of
cults and this was one of the signs to look for.  Cults have
special names and terms and phrases.

Ok, maybe this covers gaming in general, but the Forge has tons of this
stuff.

5) They enthusiastically seek to make new converts

Have you ever seen a new Forge recruit?  They are the biggest
cheerleaders of all.  “the Forge is awesome, everything else
is crap.  The forge rules. Party on wayne.”

So, the Forge looks like a cult, What should they do about it?
Nothing.  They are not a cult.  It is kinda funny and
it probibly would be giving detractors too much credit if the charge
was taken seriously.

Roast turkey calls for two basic yes or no choices:

• Gravy?
• GBD? (Golden Brown and Delicious)

To some people these choices are obvious and it may be surprising that some people don’t like cracking turkey skin or delicious, delicious gravy. That being said I recommend trying  turkey the other ways some time.

Picking a turkey
Bigger turkeys are harder to cook and don’t taste as good. If you feel you need a huge turkey, cook two. Or, cook a turkey and a ham. Your best choice is to go to the butcher and order a turkey two months ago. Baring that go to the supermarket and get the unfrozen turkey that you can get for cheap this time of year. The differences in these birds is tiny, the butcher turkey will taste better. But will it taste $40 better? Maybe. Worth noting I am cooking a $26 turkey from “Trader Joe’s” this year.

By the way, your first surprise will be when your unfrozen turkey is actually frozen. This is normal. What unfrozen means is that the turkey has not been frozen below a certain temp yadda yadda yadda. They are full of crap. What is not full of crap is how long they have been sitting around. These turkeys are grown and slaughtered for thanksgiving. And time is money so they have been frozen at most a few months and that actually leads to tasty turkey.

Turkey Prep
You *can* brine the turkey. And some day when I have a giant kitchen with unlimited space I will regularly brine turkeys. Or I’ll have the maid do it. Of course the other problem with brining is that it ruins the (delicious)skin and it really does not contribute much. Yes, I think that brining is foisted on us by the kitchen industrial complex. Some kind of plot.

Defrost the turkey in the fridge or immersed in cold running water. That’s it. The night before your only consideration is to get the bird defrosted.

The day of you want to rub the turkey down with kosher salt. People will tell you to do lots of other things like coat the bird with flavored oil or inject it with brine or drag it a mile and a half behind your car on the highway. Resist those ideas. You are cooking a turkey that will be delicious, you don’t need to cover up the flavor with other stuff.

Pull out the stuff in the cavity, front and back. You will have organs, neck and possibly a bag of sauce. Throw the bag away.

Aromatics – They sell bundles of herbs to put in your turkey. The primary purpose of these herbs is to catch fire and set off the smoke alarm.

Bonus idea – You can stuff butter under the skin of your turkey. I’ll let that sink in. This will make the turkey better and it is a restaurant secret. I’m not going to lie to you, this makes they turkey better tasting. I can only imagine how many calories and saturated fats it adds.

Pan Prep
Do you have a turkey pan with a v rack? If not go get one. There is really no way around using the correct pan here. But the good news is that for turkeys the difference between the $40 pan v rack combo and the $250 pan v rack combo is non existent (for roast turkey).

Now the choices come up. GBD or SMD (Soggy Moist and Delicious) and gravy or vegetables.

If you want to cook veg in the pan put them in now. Onions, potatoes, leeks and parsnips are all good choices. They should be “dry” vegetables. (There is a cooking technique where you fill the pan with a liquid. I have done this many times and it works poorly for turkey.) cut up the organs and remove the meat from the neck and mix in with the vegetables.

If you want gravy, do nothing.

If you want SMD (or rather if you don’t want GBD turkey) place the turkey breast down into the pan. No rack. Either on the vegetables or on a square of parchment paper.

For GBD turkey, put the rack in and set the bird down in it. Put the organs and the neck in the pan. Now you open the turkey. Pull the wings away from the body, slice the skin between the legs and the breast and crack the hips outward. Now take a piece of heavy duty foil and make a “helmet” that fits over the breast.

Turkey goes in the center of the oven, turn once. Small turkys do not need to be flipped. Cooking time varies based on temperature, humidity, sunspots and cervical dilation. Cook at 350 degrees Fahrenheit until the internal temp is 160 degrees. Then 450 degrees (yes 450 degrees) until done. (18 lbs turkey takes 3 1/2 to 4 hours)

A GBD turkey is done when it is GBD. A SMD turkey is done when it is done. Just run it a few minutes, the turkey is done cooking you are just drying it up a little.

Please ask questions so I can clarify this cooking guide.